Innovations Email
On 19 February 2010 19:32, Stephen Wattam <______@lancaster.ac.uk> wrote:
Hi,
...And so the day came that I did reply, and t'was a time when
children ran into the streets, weeping with joy.
This turned out somewhat more silly than I'd hoped. None of it is
intended to offend. Hmm, I have to type that way too often.
* Why you chose your course/What you gained from the course/What was
the most exciting or interesting part of it
The sun rose over my computing career at an early age, as I, a boy of
but 11, alighted upon the first love of many a coder: QBasic. Though
in many ways deplorable, perhaps even horrific, those first few
tentative keypresses were liminal --- my young mind was cast into a
world of infinite possibility where logic and reason play amongst the
binary trees and their glistening viridian leaves.
And so, years on, I found myself looking at the ominous screen,
responsible for a thousand thoughts of infinite polarity: the UCAS
acceptance report. Alas, for my experience was one of turmoil, and I
was forced to apply through clearing, leading, I thought, to an
abrogation of my life's dreams resulting in my death from heroin
overdose at the age of 24, but no, for t'was a stroke of fortune the
likes of which man has seldom seen!
The humble Computer Science course on which I was accepted soon proved
but a ball and chain upon my soaring intellect. But where Icarus fell
I continued upwards, into the utopia of cognitive realisation that is
the Innovations course. The landscape is one of contrast and intrigue
--- glance left to see the rolling fields of practice --- right, to
behold the towering mountains of theory, and beyond, the mysterious
land we are tasked to explore.
And explore it we shall, for we have been given, nay, earned, the
tools with which to scale these heights. Our work is that of chipping
away these mountains, using tools forged of our own ingenuity, under
the watchful eye of our masters.
We would be nothing without the mastery of those that went before us,
for the ancients of the department have handed down many skills.
Where once they trod, fearful, we stand erect. Where they falter, we
shall prevail. For the fate of those who may, in turn, follow us
depends on our success.
* Why you chose Lancaster University
So, you want to go to University, do you? You want to sit in a fancy
library and look at books and work all day and get presented with an
arbitrary bit of paper in exchange for a chunk of your soul? Very
well.
You have chosen this life, one of pursuing deadlines at unimaginable
penalty, one of hardship, self-denial and toil. What better to
exemplify this decision than with a period at Lancaster University?
Its 1960s architecture makes it the perfect companion to any prolonged
period of self-examination. Its every bland feature exhibits no
distracting beauty. Its administrative system is a perverse exercise
in bureaucracy the likes of which Orwell would have been proud.
I am Damocles, and Lancaster is my sword.
* Were there enough facilities
(sidenote: presumably an answer of 'no' would not make it online ;-) )
For the first few months I thought the university had some kind of
deal with Armitage Shanks --- there are toilets everywhere. You just
can't move without bumping into the things. Once I found one mounted
on a door.
24-hour access to the labs offers a cheap alternative to rent, and the
availability of shower facilities and kitchens in many buildings make
this a popular choice amongst students. Those who wish to rent their
own room will find that it often comes with free entertainment in the
form of next door's speaker system, and infinite opportunities to make
new friends since the population density is much like a refugee camp.
If you want computers there are many places on campus to update your
twitter and facebook feeds, and many computers don't lock, so you can
easily steal them from other students when they're not looking. The
consistent use of Windows across campus ensures that you'll never be
able to open that PDF, never mind print it, providing valuable excuses
for late or absent coursework, and leaving more time to get pissed in
one of the excellent bars.
Furthermore, the fact that many of these excellent resources are
locked only to table legs means their use need not be restricted to
the labs, no, they may be 'informally leased' and used in the comfort
of your own room for a bit (if you've bothered to rent one).
* Did you make lots of friends at Lancaster
Even I, an insufferable sociopath with poor personal hygiene and
history of sex attacks, was able to find a large group of like-minded
people. They're the kind of friends who'll stick with me for life. I
will quite literally never get rid of them, as has been proven in
court on many occasions.
The societies and groups run by the university enable you to
accurately pidgeonhole and reduce someone's personality to a
one-dimensional pastiche of characters from TV shows.
* Comment on any work placements or company contact you had
Lancaster offers seemingly endless opportunities for work, especially
within one's chosen field. Not only could you find work on one of the
many campus facilities, it's also possible to make a living taking
clothing or coins from the launderettes, or simply hanging around the
alleyways when there's a conference on.
Not interested in vice? The university has excellent relationships
with businesses in the local area, and you'll soon be doing 16 hours a
day for just under minimum wage in an internship. Be prepared,
however, to be the most qualified and most-derided member of your
organisation. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and you're a
chihuahua.
Every so often a 'Microsoft Evangelist' sees fit to wheel his cart
full of snake oil round to the uni and we get the opportunity to sit
and watch the mania of this most exploited of all the bipolar working
masses.
* What you are doing now in your career?
First I looked for jobs
But nothing interested me
So I was saddened
But then the chance came
To further my studying
In language and code
Now I write haiku
To learn Corpus Linguistics
I'm getting quite good
Lancaster helped me
To find valid distractions
Prior to my death
* How your course influenced your career
The disparate juxtaposition of academic and industrial life is one
that we all must face. There is a complicated and fructiferous flow
from academic theoretical production through the obfuscating filter of
capitalism and into the practical interpretation that we see yielded.
From an external perspective it is often difficult to correctly
apportion production of technologies and their principles to their
respective institutions, and thus may be a challenge of itself merely
gauging how the sphere of research functions.
The Computer Science Innovations course seeks to dispel this
ignorance, elucidating these atoms a capite ad calcem by way of
carefully planned pedagogy at the hands of the great didactic giants
of their field. This specialist approach to expunging enlightenment
presents itself as a well-formed overview whilst retaining the
resolution expected of erudition at this level.
This cultivation facilitated personal choice to pursue a career,
reassured by the knowledge accumulated during my stay that decisions
made were to be appropriate and meaningful. This, in turn, permitted
the commitment of energies that otherwise may lie in reserve for
personal commitments, tangental to career success.
Heh, even with the haiku this is 1.5k words. Sorry about that. Oh,
also I'm not actually a sex offender. (Again, I have to type that way
too often.)
yours writing-another-one-ly,
--S. Wattam
On 1 September 2009 15:01, Froude, Jessica <_______@lancaster.ac.uk> wrote:
> Hello lovely Innovation students!
>
>
>
> Remember that gloriously sunny day when I took some beautiful photos of you
> all, well we would love to put you on our site with some quotes if possible.
> Can you please answer the following….it would be most appreciated!
>
>
>
> * Why you chose your course/What you gained from the
> course/What was the most exciting or interesting part of it
>
> * Why you chose Lancaster University
>
> * Were there enough facilities
>
> * Did you make lots of friends at Lancaster
>
> * Comment on any work placements or company contact you had
>
> * What you are doing now in your career
>
> * How your course influenced your career
>
> * Plus anything else you would like to mention!
>
>
>
> Thanks ever so much for your time,
>
>
>
> Jess
>
>
>
> Jess Froude |Admissions Secretary | Computing Department
>
> Lancaster University | InfoLab21 | Lancaster | LA1 4WA
>
> Tel: +44 (0)1524 555555 | Fax: +44 (0)1524 555555
>
>